I think a lack of compassion is the root of all evil in relationships. Failure of compassion is the primary cause of anger, resentment, contempt, disgust, and abuse in relationships.
Yes, the idea of listening to my complaints and even listening with compassion, is a lot better than having a man grab me, or tickle me, or throw me down on the bed for the good F that I need. I wonder how successful Deida has been with that garbage in his own life. I can't even imagine how insecure a man has to be in himself and his own instincts to take this stuff seriously.
Without compassion, a spouse stops caring about how you feel. Compassion is the lifeblood of families and failure of compassion is the 'heart disease' of a family's emotional life. Compassion contributes far more to happiness than love does. Compassion makes you want to help your spouse achieve what is best for them...you want them to feel OK about themselves...it sensitizes you to things about them that, unfortunately, you wouldn't be aware of otherwise.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
