My wife called yesterday to ask me if S11 has been giving me attitude like he's giving her. I said "Not at all". She's convinced that he's going through some pre-pubescent boy thing and asked my opinion. I told her I couldn't remember my pre-pubescent boy time and she laughed. I did say that maybe it had to do with everything that's going on. She said "I don't think so because he doesn't act that way all the time." Excuse so she doesn't have to deal with the guilt?
I was about to let her go and I slipped and asked her how she was doing. Of course she said she was doing good. What else would she say. But she did ask how I was doing which she hasn't asked me in about 2 months. Short little convo but decent.
My 13 and 8 year old, tested the hell out of my wife...oh she also played nice and tried to be their best friend and over-compensated the hell outta them...and that is why they tested her and gae her attitude when she tried to be mom.
I however, also think it is a normal boy thing to test the boundaries with their mothers...and their fathers too.
Great job on the joke with her.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I've had those too....Almost mirrored images right now.
Z actually told H the other day when she tried to talk me into something. "Psst....this is Dad, if you really want it, you have to ask Mom for it. Dad is too hard to con....."
She doesn't want to deal with things, so she buys them off.
She will have to deal with this down the road.
Beauty part is, the kids know where to come for help when they REALLY need it.
She does buy them things but S11 says she's angry quite a bit of the time and is usually directed at him.
S11 and wife apparently got into a huge argument this past weekend. He told her to stop treating him like a 5 year old. She puts them to bed at 6:30-7.
My wife would do the same. She would pick them up from daycare, get them dinner, have a young girl come over to play with them while she would workout for a hour, then put them to bed at 7:30. She gets out of work a 5 so she hardly spent anytime with them.
It sucks and it's sad. She can't handle dealing with them right now. Me mode is too strong.
That's why it's so important for you to continue to be there for them like you have been.
On Monday S11 told my wife that he didn't like the way he's treated when he's there. She in turn sent me a TM telling me to keep my nose out of her business and to stop asking the kids questions. Just to leave her alone. I replied that I was sorry she felt that way but I was going to ask if it had anything to do with our kids. She said "Nice excuse to keep tabs on me and I know that's what it is." I dropped it and didn't reply because she was trying to bait me.
Thursday, S11 had a band concert. We had to be there early so my D's and I got front row seats. We were saving a seat for my wife when D's said that they thought "friend" was coming too. So I TMed wife to get a feel for the situation. Me: Are you planning on sitting with me and the girls? W: Well S11 invited "friend" to come Is that going to be an issue? (S11 did tell me he asked "friend" 2 weeks ago) Me: Why would it be an issue? W: Don't know just asking Me: You said you were friends. If you want to we're saving seats. W: OK be there in a minute.
OK. So we were saving seats by leaving an empty between me and D8 and between D8 and D6. I was just going to have them slide down when they got there. When they showed up, D8 says Mommy your seat's right here (the one right next to me). Now I know my wife if she didn't want to sit next to me she would have said no and sat in between the girls but she did indeed sit next to me. I have to say I was quite the positive and charming young man. She did start off sitting sorta turned away from me but she would tap me on the shoulder and lean over and say things to me. We chit chatted throughout the concert. She was in band in high school so I asked her all kinds of questions. We joked and laughed. It was a lot of fun.
I kept an eye on the interaction or should I say lack of interaction between wife and "friend". They hardly said 2 words to each other the whole time and didn't really look at each other either. We were parked on different sides of the school so I watched when the left, they didn't walk out together.
Friday, wife asked if she could come to the house to get S11's bike. I pulled in the driveway just as her and "friend" were leaving. Normally she would just have left with no acknowledgement but she waved to me as I went by. Then she backed into the driveway to tell me something that was unimportant but felt she just had to tell me.
Saturday, wife TM to say she is bringing S11 to the house to get a memory card for his video games. Normally she would just send him in and wait in the car but she came in too to get some of the kids' videos. I was cleaning the kitchen and singing along to some music when they came by.
I think you have a good handle on this. I'm glad you had fun and didn't let the "friend" (I can think of a better word that begins with f ) get to you. Look how he acted, kind of gives you glimps at what a freakin loser he is. Continue to shine man!!
The kids are going to continue to notice and ....you guessed it. It's somehow our fault. Don't pay any attention to that.
Yeah Trapt that's why it doesn't bother me. I know how much better I am than her "friend". There is no comparison. She's being used and someday she will see it for what it is.
She's just a lost little girl right now. Time will bring the truth.
) get to you. Look how he acted, kind of gives you glimps at what a freakin loser he is. Continue to shine man!!