It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[sandycay]

Hi everyone,

Well, it's been one year since that middle of the night phone call that led me to here. I certainly thought when I went to bed that night, my marriage was over.

Piecing is not easy but the difficult times are fewer and further between. Do I still have trust issues? No, not really. But I do pay attention to marraige better and I am trying to listen better. I've learned I have NO control what anyone else does in this world.(except for my kids..LOL)

My H and I both wonder if or when the "little reminders" will go away. They do get further apart. Sometimes they are even funny. Like when they came on the TV and said there was one reported case of Swine Flu in Spain. I folded my hands in prayer (jokingly) and looked towards the heavens. I was joking of course, but what he doesn't know is that her nickname between my friends and I was : SOW He kinda laughed (we have a dry sense of humor)

This has made me "think outside of the box". It has also made me look deep into myself. Something I never did, because of where my childhood led me as an adult. But I have done that now and take fault at my parts in the breakdown of our marriage. I really try to look into myself first when I get p1ssed off at the H. I used to just blame him for everything. Not anymore, now I see what stresses me out and try to keep that in mind and not just blow because " I can".

I feel like for the first time I really know my H and myself on a deeper level. I felt we knew each other pretty well but I was wrong.

I thought to myself last year, if I made it to a year reconciled then I wouldn't need to post anymore. So, I wrestle that decision. I would miss you guys, and it helps me sort things out things on paper.

You guys have kicked me in the @ss as needed and I appreciate it. You guys are so gracious as most of the people that post to me aren't even in piecing! Your support and encouragement have helped me become a better person.

My family is blessed by you, even if 3/4's of them dont' even know it.


Thank You and Love Always,

L