Probable Affair

[PositivelyMommy]

Hi Mark,

I took the test right pretty soon after my H left as well and I scored really low on optimism as well. So don't worry too much about it.

I asked myself, why did I score so low? I am usually an optimistic person but at the moment I feel very pessimistic about my M, that is why my score is so bad. Then I understood that this test is a 'snapshot' of my optimism, not a crystal ball.

So my snapshot stated that I was pessimistic at the moment.

But I am so glad you are getting to see a therapist.
BTW, do you know if this therapist practices Positive Psychology? Mine does. It has REALLY helped. He studied under Seligman.

I know you don't want to take drugs, I didn't want to either and have not taken any. Not because I would abuse them but I just felt like I want to experience life, all the good feelings and bad in order to live a full life. That was my reason. But when I did have trouble sleeping, I did take some panadol (tylenol). It just helped me relax a little so I could fall asleep.

According to 'Happiness Hypothesis' by Jonathan Haidt, there are three ways to fight depression. Anti-depressants help, albeit temporarily, second was cognitive behavior therapy (which is what I practice everyday) and meditation.

I know you are depressed, so you may consider one or two or three of these options. I am not saying for you to do one or the other, but just be open to these options.

Bursting into tears when talking about your broken marriage is PERFECTLY normal, in fact, I would think you were a bit strange if you didn't. So don't worry about that in front of your counsellor or even when you are home alone.

As for your job situation. Try not to limit yourself. AT first I wrote down all the things I WASN'T willing to do. But then my parents said, well, why don't you voluneer your time or just take a part-time job to begin with and see where it leads. Well, I now have two very successful part-time jobs that are getting more and more hectic. My manager is asking me to work extra days ( which I politely refused). My other job's manager is asking me for more of my time as well. And I am volunteering at two different organizations doing lots of fun things and also helping people in the community in the process.

I would have NEVER did all these things if I was stuck in my old M. I would never have started a new career which I was never trained for, which I am teaching myself on a daily basis ( and getting paid for it).

I feel very good about myself, my self-esteem is on the rise. You know what, I feel happy inside and I look really good and fun and happy outside. People are flocking to me (including you) because I have done the hard work in the first few months of the breakup. I didn't shy away from looking within myself (just like you), I took responsibility for my faults and worked hard on them. Now I am reaping the rewards. Friends are calling me up to spend time with me because I am so great to have around. Can you believe it? All in one year. From the pits to the peaks of Himalayas.

You can do it too, in fact, you have started on the journey. You are asking yourself the right questions. I KNOW you are improving yourself from within.

So open your mind to other possibilities in life. You have your health, youth, vigor to get started. If an employer is only looking for part-time help for now, take it!! It's a chance to meet other people and it might propel you to another position. That's what happened to me!

It's as if God meant for it to happen this way. It's so strange the way things turned out.

It is always darkest before dawn, that's what my father kept saying to me. Keep that in mind. You are experiencing darkness now. Things will look up for you.