you guys remind me of the old teenage days...each one wanting to grope each other and neither one knowing where to begin
That is exactly how I feel. Its a should I, should I not kind of thing. The MC said that I should ask her for a hug and that she could either say yes or no. She also said that it is going to take time for it to feel comfortable and that we both need to put in the effort to make it happen.
All in all it was a good session and we had to write down two things that we wanted to say to each other but did not. It could either be something negative or positive. My W went first and she told me how appreciative she was of me for listning and being there for her when she had a melt down at work a couple of weeks ago. She said that it was nice of me to just listen and be there for her.
Her second one was that I dropped my 16 year old daughter off at the dentist without going in and she got a call saying that she needed to be accompanied by an adult and she was not happy with me about it. I was going to defend my actions but the MC said that was how my W felt and I should just listen. Validate I know, I know.
My two were that I wanted to give her a hug when I got home after her melt down at work and comfort her but I did not because I felt it would be unwelcomed. The other one was about her going against a decision I made. I told my son that he was helping me stain the deck as a boy scout good deed and she told him that I should pay him. I did not say anything figuring we would get in a argument in front of him and she would pay him anyways.
But it was all done in a very unemotional way and we both listen to each other. The MC told us to continue with that assigment and to work on the hugging thing. We have three weeks till our next session so we will see how it goes from there.
