A new thread, a new outlook.....

[Can it work]

Hey there folks,

I'm having a good enough day today so far. I dropped Wee Man off at the child minder this morning once again. He loves being there because he gets to play with the other kids. It was my W who was supposed to be picking him up this evening but she asked me to do it because she's caught conjunctivitis. She asked if I'd take him home, feed and bath him so she keeps her physical contact with him to a minimum. We don't want him to be ill for his weekend away to see his uncle. When she phoned to ask if I'd do it she was very pleasant and grateful. I then went down to visit her to pick up the money to pay the child minder and let her know that I hoped she got better soon and even gave her advice on how to speed up her recovery. For those who don't know, a great way to aid recovery with conjunctivitis is to wash your eyes out regularly with baby shampoo. It works a treat. Anyway, I came away from her house feeling good. I'll be seeing her again when I drop Wee Man off this evening and then once more when I go to bath him tomorrow night. I'm going to do what I can to keep all these interactions as positive as possible.

PM and Mark, you've both mentioned how because my W isn't rushing in to a D is a good thing. It's not something I see as a good sign to be honest. I told my W when we first separated that we needed to wait 2 years before we could get a D. Turns out I was wrong but she had no reason to doubt me. Basically, if she knew she could get D sooner, I'm not convinced she wouldn't. I don't know for sure either way though so it's not something I'm going to dwell on. It's fine to leave it as it is for now.

J, thank you for your support. I agree with what you're saying about trying to make a move but my W hasn't been very receptive of late to anything I suggest. I did manage to get her to agree to a take away recently which was nice but I'm not sure what else I should be trying.

My DB coach also agreed that I should be looking to try and build up a friendship and I have been trying. Again though, she's not letting herself get too close. I'm very weary of having a set back in my DBing efforts. I'm never going to lose contact with my W because we still have Wee Man in common. I don't want to go back to the pursuing stage though. The way I'm playing it now isn't really causing any negative effects so I'd be tempted to roll with it for a while. I always knew this was going to take time and I needed to work on my patience because of that. Every now and again I am going to try and throw something in to stir up the mix but I have to be subtle about it. PM came up with a good suggestion about texting her to tell her if Wee Man has done something particularly funny. That would be a good start. The other thing which might help is to get my hands on some juicy gossip to share with her. What woman can resist gossip? My DB Coach suggested I try to be more like one of her girlfriends in our interaction. Sometimes the opportunities just don't arise though. A lot of our meetings are very brief. I would love to be at a stage where I can ask her out for lunch or something but I just don't think we're there yet.

I'm interested in how you think the card she gave me for my birthday stands out J? I was slightly disappointed in it if I'm being brutally honest. It was an off the shelf, standard card you could give to anyone and she only signed it with best wishes. It's nice that she thought to get me a card at all but I think it's more because she didn't know how to act rather than deliberately setting out to get me a nice card. It's her birthday next month so I have to think long and hard about what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where my sitch is at that time.

Thank you all for your ongoing support.

Kev