W called to "talk". She wanted to make sure i knew she was firm on her desicion to leave... i validated her feelings, I told her that this isnt what i wanted but that i understood where she was coming from. Then D came up and the fact that im in the military and that if this was going to work joint custody that i needed to get out and give up the military (im almost half way to retirement). I told her that i didnt think it was fair to D that she has to go through this when she is the one leaving that my career puts food on the table and this roof over her head... Ya i could probably start over but with the job market, me having to start over, i dont have my degree and havent even really started to get it because of my dedication to serving my country instead of setting things up for me to get out(which i never planned on doing). Anyways told her it wasnt fair she said i know its not fair but i have been doing this to long i know we arent meant to be together i can feel it and no matter what she wont change her position. THEN SHE GOT PISSED accused me of using my D to try and keep us together. I tried to explain to her that i wasnt that it has nothing to do with us and that it has to do with D3. Well then she accused other people for putting this in my head i told her that it doesnt matter what anyone else has said im her father and i have to look out for her... then the relationship "talk" started. How she hates me and im an [censored] for shitting on her for the last 4 yrs... Broke my heart again i validated her feelings and told her that i wasnt going to be that man anymore for me and my D and that if it wasnt for her i would have never realised what i had done wrong. She says well its to late for that with me. So then back to the D she was being evil and finally i had enough i told her that I still didnt want this for any of us but that D was not able to choose this life and it wasnt fair to her to be taken from her home and that she is the one leaving... well she said she was done talking and hung up on me... I might have just ruined everything... I feel so horrible right now having to tell her that but what else am i suppose to do I HAVE to stand my ground with my D.
My thoughts are going a mile a minute... WHAT DO I DO NOW???
