I am glad you stopped talking... I am guilty of the same thing. He's gonna lay awake tonight in deep thought that's for sure. You handled it beautifully. You were calm and non judgemental because you see this is his problem and it's not about you per say.
I am glad Dan was receptive to what you said and because he was I think he will honestly try to think about it. He may pull back for a day or two and he still might become angry (which is really just shame and guilt) but I am so glad you got this off your chest... you've been carrying that a long time.
Blessings,
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too