Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
That is not uncommon btw.. I have had those dreams.. not lately.. but I wake up with leg muscle thingys !? My take is that it is a panic attack in the night.. or restless leg syndrome ?
I onced chased this rabbit.. oh maybe another time.
Hey, I've just realized that it was two years ago today that I had my first outing with Coffee Buddy. I remember because it was the day before Mother's Day. For those who don't know, CB was a woman I befriended before my separation. Our kids went to the same day care, same dance class, same summer program etc and we would see each other frequently. At one point, today to be exact, I suggested that we hang out together while our kids performed and we ended up spending five hours together at a coffee shop (2.5 hours in the afternoon and 2.5 hours in the evening) just chatting. I was on the verge of ending my marriage as wife was planning to go away in the summer with OP for 10 days while I minded the kids! That pretty much did it for me. CB was a woman who always seemed so happy to see me, when she saw me her face would light up and she'd flash me the most beautiful smile, wave and stop to chat for a bit. She never did anything inappropriate but I was sure feeling good when she'd pay me attention. When you're in the midst of getting your ass kicked to the curb, feeling completely undesirable and an incredibly beautiful woman starts paying attention to ya...well, you start thinking thoughts you shouldn't have. So, I began coming later to pick up my kids so I'd miss her. I didn't need any temptations because I was out to save my marriage! Well, two years ago today I decided "to hell with it", my marriage is cooked and I might as well be friendly with this woman. I wasn't planning anything except to feel a bit of validation, which I got. After that, we started hanging out sporadically, a couple of weeks in a row then nothing for a week of two. I shared my sitch with her and her response was so incredibly touching to me. She was the first person who I saw wipe tears from her eyes because of what was happening to me. Wow, she cared! After listening to me she shared her divorce story saying "this is so hard for me to talk about with you, but I'm going to because I hope it helps you". When done she said "I've told you this because I want you to know that no matter how bad it gets, it will always get better" That got me through a lot of rough days! My favourite CB line was "Whatis, Let's look at this. Your wife sleeps in your basement, your Pastor thinks you're a single Dad because you never mention your wife and your wife is going away for 10 days and you don't know where she is going! I'd say you two are already separated." Who'da thunk it. Anyway, CB had a boyfriend and despite the fact that we weren't doing anything improper once I separated she cut off contact with me, just like that. I can only assume that it was because our intimacy was becoming an issue for her or her R. I was now a single man and it would be inappropriate for her to hang out with me like we were doing. I did manage to confront her once after about six weeks asking if I had done something inappropriate etc and she told me she now had chores to do on those nights ..whew, talk about a slap in the face. Well I think we both knew this was probably going somewhere it shouldn't, maybe not right away but it was heading down that road. I recognized then, and still do, that we had both put ourselves in a difficult situation and, as a friend said, "you two are really pushing the envelope". CB did what she had to do, it hurt but that's life. I put myself in that sitch and then paid for it but I also have some touching memories of someone who cared about me and didn't have to. Since she ditched me I've seen her a few times and I've stopped to chat once. The last few times I keep walking if she hasn't seen me because we really have nothing to talk about anymore! Polite chats about the kids is it, everything else is out of bounds. So, how time flies, two years seems like yesterday. Well, happy anniversary Coffee Buddy. I'll have your favourite today, a small decaf with two creams and 1.5 sugars...or maybe not cuz it really sounds yukky tasting...I'll just go to my kids birthday party and have some real fun! Youngest D turned 12 this week and the big party is today!!!!! Later Dbers.
I remember the issue of CB well, Wii! It is nice to remember someone who was kind to you, isn't it, even if it ended badly-ish. Have fun at your daughters birthday party!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes Being Me, she was kind to me. She never told me what I should be doing or have your tried this or that...blah blah blah she just listened, empathized and shared. When she spoke she said what was in her heart. Friends would often say "OMG, she said that to you! She's after you" but I never ever felt that was her motive. I experienced it as someone who cared about me. I never felt she was hitting on me, wanting me to ask her out etc. We were just two people, who for whatever reason, seemed to care about each other. Of course, there were romantic undertones or this wouldn't have been a problem. I admit my guilt! I remember my shrink at the time saying "you two have a very intense bond and one of you may need to walk away at some point" Guess it was her! Would I have hit on her? Not while she had a boyfriend but if she ditched his butt somewhere down the road I'd have been on her like...well, you know I'm sure she knew it too. My hurt was that she didn't trust me enough to be honest and say what was really going on for her. Instead she avoided me like the plague and then handed me the "chores" B.S. At least when she handed me that line I saw her eyes tear up and as I walked away stunned she called after me "Please don't think you've done anything wrong, you haven't". Life is just too weird sometimes. But, that's then and this is now! Onward and upward. Now, off to the party...gotta pick up strawberries on the way. Hey, did I mention that STBX called me yesterday to thank me for taking care of a certain situation. We had an issue with Revenue Canada and she asked me to look after it, so I did. She phoned me to say "I just want you to know how much I appreciate what you did. I have so many people I have to chase around to get things done these days. The fact that you took care of it really means something to me. Thank you" That was the phone message. Yup, life is weird!
CB was the first transitional woman who came along. Sooner or later, your life will change, and someone new will enter your life. As you know my equivalent is Gym Woman, but she is very clear about she fells about me, and always has been. There was validation, but more as well. It will come your way some time again. You always take the best path possible. You're thoughtful, pragmatic and always seek to improve your life in some form. You'll have better days. CB was just a "station stop".
OK, so what you're saying is that CB was really TW and then became SS. All I really know is that all these initials are starting to make me FC (Friggin' Confused)! Hey FLTC, remember to say hi to GW for me! Just a snippet of an update, today I went to my WF's (Women Friend) church and when the Pastor said "How many of you brought Jesus to church with you today" I turned to my friend and said "I knew I forget something in the car!" and she replied "Is he strapped into the child safety seat?" Yes, I'm sure she and I will make great church companions! Gotta run, we're taking STBX out for Mother's Day dinner. Later DBers!
