the ones here who succeed truly detach and "let them go"..there have only been a couple I have seen or posted to personally..one is Gforce and another who reconciled but no longer posts... Mish..I'm saying...if ya let em go they may come back..if you don't they won't..
I said myself on your last thread SMW
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I am just trying to say.. I think you need to let him go.. he needs to do this.. hopefully he will wake up and realise OW is a turd and you are a shining beacon of loveliness.. and come home
Kalni is an example, where she really detached and let go and her H came back. I dont see anything else working around here and I NEVER saw a M restored through the power of prayer alone, sorry.
I am allowing him his own path. The things I said last week had NEVER been said to him. I was not emotionally ready before and he would not have listened. D9 NEEDS to be able to be honest about how she is feeling and thinking. This ties to her own therapy for her emotional disorder, GAD, and ADD. We have been spending months explaining to her and teaching her how to own her feelings and to be able to express them in healthy ways. I will not stifle that.
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And yes this is upsetting and frustrating and not fair and we all want to do something, create some effect on the them, but the way to do that is to put doubt in their minds about the decision they have made...correct bad habits, grow, be a better person, attractive, fun, whatver you were that floats his boat, embrace life, be happy, etc etc.. whatever in YOUR sitch is relevant, but essentially, the girl that he first fell in love with (allowing for childbirth and maturity, so within reason!) and let them be and let them go, do what they have to do, find themselves and hopefully, come back around full circle and realise what they lost.
SMW... are you again, the girl he fell in love with? Becuase thats what you have to be to create doubt in his mind and fight the ow. Which afterall, is what we are trying to achieve here, according to the DB priniples !??
Am I the girl he fell in love? Some, but not entirely. i was a different person 15 years ago, with different dreams, goals, and ambitions. I am fun again, I smile more, I enjoy life--that is part of who I was. But I have found different ways to do it. I love my children, I love my family, and my faith has become much stronger than ever before in my life. I find enjoyment in simple things. I am a better person for all of this, I just wish my kids did not have to suffer the pain for me to get here.
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but there is alot of talk here to what amounts to "saving them", metaphorically throwing life lines/life belts...but you cannot 'save' anyone and especially if they swam off and dont wish to be saved.
They made a choice. They didnt fall overboard.. they jumped ship. There is a difference IMHO.
xxx
And I guess where this is the difference between walking in faith comes in. I see the sins in the world. I recognize them as tricks used by the enemy to turn peoples' hearts away from the Lord. I am commissioned by God, through my faith, to show unconditional love to all, but most especially to those closest to me. That love should include loving rebuke when the path is destructive to self and others.
Perhaps I should stop posting here, as obviously my Christian principles are not gelling with the DB principles.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
