Why does it still hurt if I don't want him back? It shouldn't be hurting. I should be laughing. How sad that he is so much more trapped than he ever was with me. Sad, but I hope the claustrophobia (sp?) weighs on him tremendously.
I ask myself all the time. Why does it still hurt so much even though I could never, ever take him back? We both should be skipping down merry lane because these pathetic men are out of our lives. I feel robbed.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Bad night. K is sick and it is pulling at my heart strings. I hate when she's sick...which seems to be a lot. All 4 of her teeth are coming in at once..she has a fever...no appetite...can't sleep...congested...and the list goes on. I wish I were home with her right now.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So, basically...if I stop treating him like he's an incompetent, idiot, that isn't as smart as me, and can't do anything right, including taking care of his responsibilities....maybe, just maybe....he'll start acting like a competent, intelligent, smart, responsible, dependable, father and ex-husband?
yes yes and holy cow yes!
men HATE to be questioned, to be told, to be the end of finger pointing, etc. it's all disrespect. I learned that the hard way. The only thing is, like FG said, it may not work. This character of his has been embedded in him so deeply, it will take a long time for him to "fix" himself.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I got a little worried when you started talking about calling him back but I think you pulled that off pretty well. It leaves him some wiggle room. Yes.. you did alright there.
Keep it up. Make the decision to keep doing it.
DITTO THAT!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
and I thought what you did with the subliminal "guilt trip" was great! IMHO that was perfect. you made it seem like you were trusting him because of the UI, and it also gave him the chance to make it up. Had you accused him instead? boy, that probably woulda been a fight, and you probably wouldn't have seen the money anyways. AND you gave him that heads up too.
I'm sorry about K. 4 teeth coming in, that will definitely cause fever and fussiness. I would get crushed ice in a washcloth and let my kids chew and suck on it. they like it better than the store bought teethers. but you have to wet it down a tad first (if I remember right)
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
and B, I know this is going hurt. You put a lot of effort into trying to make this M work, and I applaud you for that. There are so many people that don't do what you did, and just give up. Your always going to have some kind of love for him. He was your husband, and he's K's dad. But the more you realize your self-worth does not come from him, I think the better you will be.
btw, it's not a bad thing to want your family together, don't feel bad that you are hurting, but just remind yourself of what her "reward", as you called it, is. She is in a bigger mess than you ever were, and he is in an ever bigger one. He will face a lot of consequences in the years to come because of these choices.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
"This character of his has been embedded in him so deeply, it will take a long time for him to "fix" himself."
The great thing is.. he will have to "fix" it. In his life.. the day he does "fix" it will be a turning point. Who knows what will happen then. He cannot live like this forever.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Let's start Thurs... Got a call from K's school...she's sick. Left work, got her...can't bring her back on Fri.
Fri- get to stay home with my daughter...although she is sick. Daddy picks her up at 4. Takes his penis out of his pants and asks me if I want to...... I laugh. Sorry, I could barely contain myself. He takes her. No....ing. Over it! Go out Fri night.
Sat.- I pick her up. In the area for a Tea (I know...gay). He is cordiall. I ask id he got his UI check. He says "No". I confront.. telling him I know he did and how much. He says "I have bills to pay so I can support K". I say "So do I, I drive her school everyday, I take her to the doctor, I pay the health insurance...I have bills, too. You haven't paid 8 months worth." He says " What the "F" do you want?" I say, " Money to help take care of your daughter I'm going to go through CSS." He says "Go the F ahead"." d
Sun- crying because I know that he wont even text me a HMD. Cry until about 10. Talk to Mom. She calms me down....:this is who he is. He is doing it to hurt you. Why do you care? The people that mean the most to you are either her or called..including his family." I get over it.
Me: still sad that he couldn't even say HMD.even in a text. He's a DICK (I'm sure they'll block that, but he is!!!!!!!b [censored]!)
Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful women that have put up with so much sh!t.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
