Been awhile since I posted and I'm hoping Puppy will see this and let me know his thoughts. Over the weekend W asked if I had an IC appointment set up for this week. I said yes, I have one Tuesday why? She asked if she could go with me to it (my IC was our MC when the bomb first dropped...before she stopped MC). I asked her what it was about and she said that she wanted to talk about communication and bring up some other stuff. I told her that was ok by me and left it at that. So yesterday we go to the session and she starts by telling the counselor about what has happened since the last time he saw her and all and then throws out the real reason she wanted to come. She doesn't want to move out and get her own place. To say i was a little shocked is a huge understatement as that is all she has talked about for months. She wants to stay in the house in the spare bedroom. IC asked me how I felt about it and I just came back with the obvious question....are we roommates or are we going to start working on 'us'. She said for now all she wants is roommates....she doesn't want to think about a relationship with ANY man at the moment. She said that since seeing her IC she realizes she needs to work through all her issues and get happy with herself before working on a relationship with anyone. IC asked her if she thought she could do that and work on the relationship with me in a slow baby steps kind of way and she said no, not at this time. IC asked me how I felt about it and I said that it was not exactly what I wanted but that I was ok with the arrangement but that if we were going to live as roommates that she will need to contribute to the expenses. W asked what I was thinking and I said that since I make roughly 4 times what she does that she should chip in 1/4 of the expenses. She said she was ok with that. IC then said we need to have clearly defined boundaries in the house. He said we need to work out boundaries around personal space, privacy, chores, time with D3, etc... We agreed and will sit down to work those out on Sunday. IC then asked if either one of us was pursuing something with anyone else to which we both said no. He asked if we did decide to see other people would we tell each other which we both said yes. He asked if one or both of us did see other people would we bring them to the house to which we both said no. He then focused more on me and said that this would be harder for me than W because i'm still more attached to her than she is to me. I acknowledged that and said I knew it would be hard but I was willing to try it out. He then said we should establish checkpoints to talk about how the arrangement was going and to adjust it as necessary. We agreed to every 2 months. We also agreed to go to joint counseling every month to work on communicating with each other and talk through things with either my IC or her IC. So, that was a pretty eventful session to say the least and I'm still trying to understand why the sudden change of heart on getting her own place. Fast forward to today and W calls me up a couple of hours ago and we talk about our days and all...nice conversation really and I'm just listening and validating some issues W is having with her job and after awhile she says it feels weird talking to me and she has to go. WTH? I just said ok, talk to you later. Really don't know what that was about either. So, any thoughts, advice, etc....????
