Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

JTB

Thanks for responding on boundaries. Aside from detaching, that's been my biggest issue/question/concern. Right now I don't think H respects anything or anyone or fears any repercussions other than maybe "looking bad."

I have a question. I seem to remember reading in DB that LBS need to get spouse to respect them. Is it different with MLCers? Because I would think being a doormat and not having a lot of self-respect would be counter to trying to get them to respect you. What are the DB principles that don't apply/are different when dealing with MLC?

Another question - when not initiating contact, GAL, etc. How should you address things that H said were big issues for him in the past. For example, he said I never just sat and watched TV with him, when I emailed it was just a "laundry list," and didn't keep him informed on what was going on with kids/family. So now do I make myself available to watch TV with him, send emails that are more than just the basic kid scheduling details, etc. Or is that pursuing?

What resources at the top are you referring to? Top of the forum? I'll take a look.

Aye, aye, aye...makin me crazy!