I don't contact H at all. I don't bring up anything to do with the R when he comes around. I bite my tongue so much it's a wonder I still have one.
Results:
H initiates contact. We are still intimate on occasion. He kisses me. He doesn't bring up the big D.
It's kinda funny how sometimes, some of our most powerful actions can be taking no action at all!
From the sounds of this, it sorta looks like your not trying to "fix things", to not try to push things forward, is actually creating some positive movement on his part.
Even though this really might not make a lot of sense, it seems to be working, so what the heck! Might as well go with it, right?!
JJ
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