Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[kjensen]

A few thoughts:
Don't bring up H and issues/concerns about him in front of boys.

Don't expect anything from H at this point-he's not reliable.

This may be an area to set a boundary for you-regarding what he needs to do if he is unable to fulfill a commitment.

Let your boys reaction to H be their own. A message of disappointment(or whatever they feel) that is sincere from a child has more power to affect a MLCer than anything you can come up with. Your boys need to feel empowered to express their feelings to your H. This is something I'm definitely learning as I go, with regard to my daughters.


Your anger regarding H not being there for his boys, is YOURS. IF the boys feel it, thats OK, but learn to separate what you feel about H's actions with boys, from how they feel.

Hang in there. Plan to be on your own for awhile. Expect nothing. Do something nice for yourself and your boys!