Still living and still hoping. A really monumental thing occurred a week or so ago; breaks me down when I think about it. My father is still fighting for his life due to a stroke he had last year along with complications from diabetes. He is taking the highest dose of pain meds that they can give him. Due to the stroke, he does not talk a lot; I often struggle to get a yes or no from him at times. Well, a week ago, I get to the hospital to visit and a soon as I walk in the room he starts crying. I ask; dad why are you crying? And he says he's upset. I say dad I'm with you every day you have to talk to me. So I ask him again why is he upset, and he says he's just upset. I plead with him to talk to me so I can know what's going on and he finally says, "I'm upset that you and your W (wife's name) are not together". That just blew me away, with what he is going through and dealing with to be concerned about me and my M. He was still being dad. I remember when I was younger he would say "Once you have kids you will see, you never stop being a parent". He's just amazing. I told him he should not be worrying about that and that it would be alright.
Well calls from my W are now going past the month mark. I finally talked to her on the 27th of last month; almost 2 months since our last conversation. As usual, we talked of nothing, just small talk and catching up on whatever. Whatever. At one point in the conversation, she asks how my dad is and if he says anything about her and I relayed the story above and she gave nothing. It amazes me how empty she can be, not in a million years would I have imagined us being in this space. Other than that, I guess we had a normal conversation. I just stayed upbeat like I had no care in the world and after an hour I navigated to a goodbye before she could. And to my surprise she did not look for conflict or ammo; so I thought. A few minutes after the conversation, I get a txt from her referring to some mail of hers that came to the house that I forwarded to her. So in the txt she says "Oh I got the mail...Kinda silly you think" When I sent the mail to her, I knew she would take that the wrong way and I was correct. I replied that I found nothing silly about making sure she got her mail and sending it to her works best for me. She replied OK.
