Sara- Yes I feel like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that I do have somewhere to go, My mom called me back and told me that my dad said come on home.
nc~ He doesn't get it, he really doesn't. He doesn't think that he is doing anything wrong. He grew up in a house where the parents were disrespectful to each other and yelled and cursed in front of them. It was not a health relationship at all. This is what he sees as normal. I grew up with just the opposite. My parents never fought, my father barely spoke (which wasn't good either) but there wasn't any verbal abuse or otherwise going on. I remember my childhood as a happy one.
So all of this up and down, drama, I can't stomach anymore. No this is something new with him, I guess I just dealt with it so long, and then having the boys put things better in perspective for me. I am not tolerant of his behavior like I once was because of the boys.
Yes, a lot of this is because we are broke. When were are struggling financially, he gets totally off balance and lashes out at me and the boys. Although I understand it, I can no longer except it. Im stressed out too, but that doesn't give me a ticket to treat everybody around me like crap.
Last night I let S3 sleep with me (yes out of guilt) and H came upstairs and was mad he was in the bed. Now mind you he has always been the one who never cared if they slept with us. I had the tv off in the bedroom, so he turns it on and S3 was whining that he wanted the tv off. (he had taken a nap and I knew I was going to have trouble getting him to sleep, that's why I shut the tv off in the first place) So he was billigerent and said for him to be quiet, then calls him a brat... I said, he's not a brat because he wanted the tv off, Your miserable!
Then he says, "im acting like you". I just ignored him, and he got up and slept downstairs. Thank goodness.
He is pushing me out the door guys, It is becoming easier and easier for me to go with my plan this summer, therapy or not.
God help me I don't want it to come to that. But he truly is clueless and I cannot bear the burden anymore.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
