Gucci, if you're out there, I re-read what wrote about when a woman backs off you back off equal distance.
Correct. Your wife is backed off on "moving home." You should be telling her that you aren't sure either. You should be saying that you don't know if it would work either. (WHICH IS TRUE) You should be telling her that you just don't know anymore what you think. This takes the pressure off. (remember the "no pressure rule?")
You DO NOT act mean. You DO NOT act rude. You DO NOT act punitive. You are ALWAYS NICE. She has to wonder if YOU have given up on the whole situation. If you act angry or disgusted or like you want to give an ultimatum, then you will go backward. If you tell her that "someday you will be sorry", then you are appearing weak....
You need to let her think that you NOW have other things (I still say you need to bring jealousy into the picture) going on that are starting to consume your thoughts. This is why you get off the phone first, end conversations first, let her contact you and so on......
It shows STRENGTH. She is practically begging you to do this. Remember.. Subconsciously she KNOWS what she has done is wrong. Deep down she feels bad, but YOU have allowed her to shift the blame by not having enough male backbone to call her out on ONE HUGE THING....
"I WILL NOT SHARE MY WIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN AND IF YOU CAN'T DECIDE, THEN I WILL DECIDE FOR YOU. IF YOU CHOOSE HIM, THEN SO BE IT, BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE ME TOO"..........
That can only be done effectively with the attitude I have been encouraging you to adopt. It shows backbone, strength and male toughness and high self esteem. "I will be perfectly fine without you, and as a matter of fact, maybe this IS for the best."
YOU can't see that?
No matter what she says about coming home or whether it would work or not or whether "you" have changed...
Your answer is still basically the same.... "Yes, maybe you are right. Maybe it wouldn't work. I am feeling the same way."
Then SHUT UP.. Please.. just be quiet. Let her FEEL that you feel the same way. It is a MUCH more effective way of validating than the "I am sorry you feel that way"...(which actually isn't really validating as much as it is STILL saying you don't agree with their stance, which keeps them distant)
The OM is STILL in the picture in one way or another.
