Magnificent

[mishka422]

Now, that's an interesting idea K. Hmmmm.....not sure if I'm the entrepeneurial type but who knows!

Dear God... What if he says he wants back? Can you handle that?

In a word....no. The immediate reaction in my head to even the thought of that is 'hell no!'. I have to think more on it, but think fast. He's meeting me at the house for lunch today. I have grown too much, changed too much, worked too hard to go backward now. I will always love Gabe because he's Marc's dad and we have so many years of shared history. I can't love the man he has become, the person he has shown himself to be. Also, as I told BBJ last night, I have enabled him for our entire R. I swept his lies under the rug, big and small. I didn't call him out on them until after the bomb. There are too many changes I would have to see and I know he is not going to make them. He doesn't want to hear what they are and has a totally defeatest attitude. I can't deal with that. My life is about total honesty, total openness, REAL EMOTION, and devotion to God. I can't live without every piece of that including a partner that respects and shares my ideals. Gabe is none of those things.

Ok, so I think I've answered the question, but I still don't know how to handle it if he brings it up. How do I tell him all of this (of course, assuming that's even broached) without destroying his fragile ego? I want him to heal, to become what he has the potential to be, but I'm not going to allow him to even remotely think that there is any possibility of reconciling our M.