thanks for this........as most people know themselves here, I have weak moments and strong moments; I wish I was stronger.
there are moments when I can put OW and H into perspective and realize that its not anything to do with me and my life.
I am having to re establish my life from only 3-4 months ago where it was a completely different life.
What he has done has, hopefully momentarily, taken away so much hard work, confidence, hope, my dreams. My H has done this with so much speed, precision and cold, calculated delivery that I am reeling. He has lied to me and deceived me.
It is now my D who must and does have my full attention. I think that she is suffering. I look at her and wonder how my H can put her through it; I guess they not know what they do.
He has snow taken to emailing me about access, we now dont even properly speak. It is for the best because I have to keep reminding myself that I truly dont know who this man has become. The man who I loved with my whole heart, who I trusted, who I shared my dreams with, who I thought cared for me has and continues to put me (and my family) through a nightmare.
I am doing small things day by day that remind me that I am a good person, trying her best to love and care for the people around her. I am not sure what I want for my life, or what it will bring but I want to proceed with dignity and honour, I want to know when I put my head on the pillow at night that I can sleep well.
My trust in men has been severely damaged; I dont know how that can be reconciled? The sense that my H could do this without any remorse etc?
Every day I am working harder and harder to be a strong woman and the best mother that I can be
