Thank you both for your responses. I would like to think I am starting to regain my own life, make changes and hopefully move on to be a better person for my children and myself.
I assume I should NOT share my schedule with my wife, but the times I can have the children will be a 'reverse schedule' as in she will know when I can have the children. Also, I want to remain flexible but as you have both said setting a boundary is neccessary to allow me to create my own schedule. My own schedule would be 'carved in stone', but do I need to keep my schedule flexible to show my wife I can be flexible without crossing my personal boundary.
Another reason we are where we are was the fact I was so entrenched in my old routine to the point where my wife dare not book anything on a Tuesday or a Thursday as these were my training days and I would moan like crazy when things had to be arranged for those days. In hindsight, I can see why she became so disappointed with me over this, therefore I need to try and find a happy medium between my 'set' schedule and remaining flexible.
For instance, if my wife asked me to have the children on a different night than planned (Wednesday) but it falls on a training or swimming night, do I tell her I am sorry this is not a good night (inflexible/boundary setting) or do I show I can be flexible and change the date to suit her request (flexible)? I know I am probably asking silly questions here but I need to understand the best way to handle flexibility with boundary setting.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
