It is obvious that your H has left you with no other alternative. I am so sorry this is happening. For all of your sakes.
I think giving your H an ultimatum to seek out C at this point is your only recourse, and his only chance. I feel that no matter what you, Irish, will ultimately be fine, even if your M were not not to survive, which I hope it never comes to that.
Conversely, your H is so lost in his own self-deceptive fog, so self-absorbed, so foolish -- if he doesn't snap out of this he's just going to destroy everything in his life that he loves. He need only look at me and my own folly... and that of countless other foolish spouses who took their M's for granted, squandering a precious blessing that God grants us, to see what loss he will face.
The swearing thing is a terrible, terrible habit, one that I too have to struggle with. I to would be mortified if own of my two boys were to ever utter something vulgar, especially if they had heard it from me first. I am certain that one is a self-control problem, one related to poor anger management.
I and others are in your corner, dear friend. You, your H and your S's are in my prayers. You will make it.
