Neaj.. I am trying really hard to just concentrate on college, but mentally I am struggling. It all feels so tough and financially..No.. he's a Leo, he's been sociable all his life. I was too, but I felt vunerable after getting ill so much so wouldnt go out in fear of coming down with something....I was a PITA to be honest.
Kat.. thanks, it DID get to me! Thanks for your kind words.
Andabelle - I think it wasnt just that I was ill, so much as my fears and phobias meant I placed ALOT of restrictions on our life together, which wasnt fair of me. As for trusting him.. wierdly I do still! Crazy, maybe.
Michelle..thankyou also for sticking with me! I havent had the greatest week on the boards
Hey Cyrena..thanks once again for your understanding, your post nearly made me cry! I can see you really get what I badly explained.. the change in tone, the dead, irritable, hostile voice in part and how upsetting that was for me. The shocking thing is, I havent heard that since Aug 08 (when he dated Helen).
Yes, I did assume, that although I expect him to need a gap, to be on his own.. seeing as he is going around telling all his friends I am his soulamte and he loves me, I kinda assumed he would then come back to me, no question. Clearly, I was wrongly expecting a neat trajectory. But he is consumed with guilt.
Also, although I know that he left the R because of issues with me and me being a PITA and I mentioned he didnt have an A... I'm not stupid, even though he denies it (and it going around back home talking about me being different, so they all think thats why he left..)I KNOW he fancied her before the bomb and he left me BECAUSE he saw that there were other possibilities out there. She was flirting with him, he almost admitted as much (giggling at all his jokes) and I know he phoned her some nights, as I snooped on his mobile. So.. I think she is more important to him than his friends lead me to believe, because they dont know what I know and he WONT admit to them that she is a factor as he doesnt want to look the bad guy.
God I am exhausted.. how many weeks/months of this can I take? And the Piscean phoned me tonight and put alot on me abuot the death of his Dad (15 years ago, when we broke up) and his estranged Mum and how he wants to right me letters and I am the ONLY woman .. all the others were.. and on and on and I am not very assertive and also, was feeling somewhat responsible for his feelings, but why was I ??I shouldnt. I ended up reminding him.. YOU threw ME out.. he said, I dont know why I did that, I wasnt in my right mind...
There are a zillion and one reasons he might be stressed... and at least half of them don't have anything to do with you! One could even be good! Let's say he was actually contemplating breaking it off with Helen? THAT would be stressful for him!
Patience, girl! It really does seem that things are slowly going your way.... but you can't rush it!
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 05/05/0911:14 PM.
Hey Jeff! Lovely to see you, me ole faithful. Yes, I believe he either did break up with her Sun night/Monday, tried to do it, or "got the ball rolling" as he told BMF... he walked out of work this morning and lied and drove home. His job is VERY important to him. He's never done that before. It must have been agony when he went in this morning to the office.. to his desk next to hers. He admitted he was "very tense".
Who knows, he might not have done it, or might be the strain of deciding/pretending with her.
I feel like a horse, that was lagging behind the whole field and has caught up and the last fence is in sight...but will his knees buckle as I go over and the vet be called to shoot me, there on the ground, with 100 yards to go???
Feeling a bit down this morning... guess yesterday was a real roller coaster. What do I believe? The look in his eye and what he says himself less than a week ago? The things my friends said he has said? the tone in his voice? His actions? My gut instinct? None of the above? Just keep waiting...
I'm annoyed abuot the Piscean, he was sweet about my art, other than that, the whole conversation was again... all about him. What is wrong with everybody !?? Maybe he hasnt learnt his lessons.
Today Mercury, planet of communications and the mind, is going backwards for a few weeks. Its going over things, redoing things, the past, ex's, changing ones mind and reevaluating before making a decision and then acting on it when Mercury goes forwards again. Its also going backwards, right direct on my ex's Moon (emotions/woman in your life) and in his 7th house of 1:1 relationships!! This is very rare, I checked back to 2003 and couldnt find when this last happened, so not for years. It couldnt be more symbolic of deciding to break up with a current partner and having to have "the talk" and to be thinking about your ex. As to what he will decide and act on once Mercury turns around again in a few weeks time, I have no idea.
Well CRAP! See, I put it on my thread and now I read yours and see that it is a cosmic thing! Heavens sakes. I've never had any belief in astrology but it's too freaky how many times the shifting of planets and whatnot has coincided with stuff happening.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hi Ali, A few more weeks!!! what happened to the all be clear by May? oh well you time to leave it hanging for now and find that motivation for college work. Hows it going? Please don't let the situation with x men do you out of a decent degree that your talents richly deserve.
I am sure college has deadlines,fortunately relationships don't so all will still be there in a few more weeks, so are we loking to June now?
