Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Went to the councelor today. I we got in a little argument outside and when we discussed it inside I validated her feelings and we moved on. Unfortunately we got in an argument about the OW and whether W should let her come over this summer while she is watching the girls. The kicker is that I will actually be paying her to watch them in lieu of her getting a job. If I had a paid babysitter I wouldn't let them bring their boyfriend over while they watch my kids. She insists they are now "just friends" so it doesn't matter.

I think the counceling may be doing more damage than good again. I hate giving it up. It is one hour every 2 weeks that I know I will get to spend with her. Sitting next to each other on a couch. I am trying to go Dark but have such a hard time. I miss her and love seeing her when I do. Especially the last few weeks. I need to be stronger and DB or stop trying.