Sometimes I don't explain myself very well and get myself in trouble. I swear it (my mind) is like a data flow and sometimes I can't control it.
My thoughts have always been that in order to "win" at this you need to do your part to "bring out the best". From my posting and reading here I still think that holds true. You can "bring out the best" in you and most of the time that will cause a shift in "someone else".
For me to "win" I had to get my respect back for myself and learn how to love my wife... again.
(I know they frown upon that.. but I am gonna do it anyway. I think it goes hand in hand with DB'ing. From my POV (Man) he explains it better.)
I was amazed at how much my thoughts tied into what he was saying. As a general idea in most of my post's is that you have the power to change things.. for the better or the worse.
In BS1's case here.. is her "bitching" at him for something he did incorrectly "respectful"? No. So of course he acts "Unlovingly". So if you really look at it.. they are still doing all the same things they were doing while they lived in the same house. The "Crazy" Cycle.
Now I am not being hard on BS1.. you have every right to be "bitchy".. can't say that I would not be if I were walking in your shoes. But where you change the "Cycle" at is with you. He may very well still be "Unloving".. but I assure you it will slow down and eventually stop all together. Worst that could happen is it will get better than it is now.
The hard choice is being the better person. They are usually the ones that seemed "walked on".
Blindsided1.. Go back and read that list you made. Really read it with a different perspective and pick out those things that will really make a difference.. to/for you. I also want you too look at how much you still want him to "see" you.. in that list. I am telling you.. have been for a while.. if you can figure out.. how to let him go.. and really do it.. we might have something new to talk about.
Blindsided1.. In light of things.. you are doing.. very well.. and I applaud you for coming this far and not totally melting down/freaking out. In that it shows you have the heart to make a change in your life.. and stop living like this. You have to make the choice and find the desire to do it.. Keep your head up...
And Always..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
