Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

KJ,

Thanks for posting. I did read a lot of your sitch, but haven't finished it all yet. It has been very helpful. Just got back from my awesome GP doctor and she has recommended a good IC and given me something to help with sleep. That will be welcome. Turns out her best friend had an EA then PA and she didn't even know. Friend and H reconciled and are very happy now, which was comforting to hear.

The problem I'm having with boundaries is that I'm not sure what will keep me healthy and sane at this point. I want to say NO MORE OW, but know that's NOT realistic. Like you, I saw improvements when contact with OW seems to not be going on, but as soon as he starts back with her then everything I do is an annoyance. How do you keep yourself from slipping up and mentioning OW? How do you keep from "snooping" to learn what's going on? Ugh! Makin me crazy.

H just cancelled MC scheduled for tomorrow and also can't make the time of the backup appointment I scheduled. I hate to be paranoid and mind read, but I think he's decided not to continue MC. Really no need if you don't want to work on the M, right? Anyway, since we won't be going to MC tomorrow, I think this is a perfect time to try my hand at going dark. He was supposed to keep the boys for a while tonight so I could go to a meeting, but I haven't heard from him and will just let it slide if I don't. I WILL NOT contact him unless it's an emergency regarding the kids. He is still living at home on weekends, so I should have no reason to see him until late Friday night. I keep hoping that the lack of contact will help me detach.

You hang in there too. I'll hop over to your second thread now and keep reading. It's funny, two months ago I had NEVER posted on an online forum and now I feel like it's my lifeline. Who ever knew there were so many going through this junk?