Is there any hope or is the damage done

[MrBond]

Try not to think about the OW right now. I know it's hard as heck. My W had an EA with her boss twice her age, so I know how tough it is for you.

I turned all of my efforts inward and became a stronger father and man in general. Do the same and you break the hold the OW has over you. Right now you're feeling weak because you've given your H your power, your dignity. Well it's time to get it back.

If you are so inclined, you should get a punching bag or take up a physical regimen to get those feelings out. That will help you to not dwell over them.

Your H has alot of issues to deal with that stemmed from his relationship with his parents and his open relationship from his first M. That much is evident. He is totally messed up in the expectation dept. as to what a "normal" M should be. But those are HIS thoughts...NOT yours.

Believe in yourself first and foremost. Meditate. Build on your own inner light and burn his out. I think you need to do something like that to start overcoming his actions. Have you ever seen the movie "Enough" with Jennifer Lopez or "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"? Those will help you to see how you can fight back to get your own individuality back.