"After a couple of minutes, I heard my oldest having some issues in the background. I told her it sounded like she has to take care of something so I told her that I was going let her go"
You should have ended it way before that. Right after you said goodnight to the boys.
"I'm still struggling with how I don't see how we're progressing to save the marriage. It seems like we are settling into a routine where we stay seperate/divorce."
Glad to see you recognize this. You are in a routine right now. Shake things up. How on earth is she going to miss you if you talk to her every time? Do you enjoy being her security blanket? After awhile, she's going find another.
"Perhaps I'm still being too available and I'm seeing her too much. Its tough with all the things that are going on with the kids. I don't want to miss things with the kids. Or should I?"
Don't miss out on anything with the kids, but let's face it. Most of your interactions aren't with the kids. You're talking, "chit-chatting" with each other. Go to your kids' events, take them out on your own without inviting your W to everything. Go when she invites, but don't get upset when she doesn't.
Since she left, you've asked the same thing over and over. Yet you continue to do the same thing and wonder why nothing has changed.
Like Michele says...do something different. Have you written down any goals? I'm talking small baby step goals that will lead you to asking her out 4 weeks from now. Cold to no contact.
I'm talking small goals for your M and for yourself. Like losing x pounds...taking a new class...learning a new language, etc.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
