My Sailor is Back-but not Home

[hoosiermama]

I agree. And these are difficult situations to sort through, mostly because the WAW's grasp on reality can often be skewed. In my case, I talked with H a few times about the impact his actions were having on his relationship with D13. And every single time, without fail, he screamed at me that I was planting negative thoughts in her head, although she absolutely knew what was going on without any input from me, and was able to express that she couldn't talk to her dad because "he might stop loving me like he stopped loving you." And each time I talked with him--only a handful of times, really, and only after his behavior caused her to have sobbing fits--I expressed that I wanted to preserve their relationship because D13 needed it. He acknowledged it in front of a counselor, but otherwise accused me of alienating D13. It's just rationalization of his selfish behavior, as well as believing he could "have it all"--OW and D13, his career, his reputation, his role in his church in spite of adultery. Had I ignored his behavior, I believe it would have further damaged D13's relationship with him, so I felt it was worth the unpleasantness. But then, in my situation, I had given up hope of reconciliation (again, after a lot of prayer for wise discernment).