Thanks Lucky, I'm trying. I really am. I appreciate your support.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
She needed a BREAK?????? From motherhood? Are you seriously accepting this?
From being your woman? Are you seriously accepting this?
From mere chores????? Get a cleaning lady. Set up a schedule. What's the big deal. Are you seriously accepting this?
Continue spying on her? Like a desperate guy. Like someone who has no other options. Stop this and move on. You ARE losing your dignity with all of this desperate clinging to the fantasy that she is sitting at home with a cup of tea contemplating your love for her.
I know, I know. I heard it straight from her mouth. I cannot handle D's attitude, she won't listen to me, I'm tired of taking care of everything, etc.
She has not said she's tired of being my woman. She has however demonstrated that by doing what she did though.
I suggested a cleaning lady already and got another excuse about how it's so easy with just her. Ugh.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
It's all phony distractions. She's buying time so she can cake-eat. She'll string you along until she's used up and has no other exciting option. Then she'll come back for the comfort.
MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE. MAKE HER FEEL THAT SHE'S LOST YOU. MAKE HER SCARED.
You better be GALing your butt off. Do "man stuff" as much as possible.
MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE. MAKE HER FEEL THAT SHE'S LOST YOU. MAKE HER SCARED.
I don't think she'll be scared, that's the problem. I think she's seen it's easy for her to get a man.
Maybe I should just force her to make a decision--that would be pressure though. I'm not ready for a divorce yet, not just yet. Unfortunately, I still have hope at this point.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
MAN UP so that she has the beautiful soul AND the man of her dreams. Show her that you have self respect, that you KNOW you can have love with and be loved by any one of a number of women, and that you won't wait around for ANYONE to love you properly.
You need to get with the attitude that you are "da man" and that you have a ton to offer a woman, and that the way she is treating you (stringing you along while playing the field) is totally unacceptable. You're NOT a loser.
AF, Notice how everyone here is getting annoyed with your thinking? It's because you aren't putting yourself first ("Love your neighbor as yourself.") This isn't selfish or cold but how a healthy strong person behaves. If you don't think you are worthy of being loved why would your W? That's how she is "testing" you. She betrayed you and it appears to her you are just going to forgive her and move on with the M. She needs to see that it angers you, you feel rage and that you deserve more respect than she is giving. You will show her by respecting and loving yourself. How do you do that? You are in control of yourself - emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually. You are responsible for your own happiness. Stop thinking, writing, and wasting away thinking of her and start doing for yourself. Reread the advice you are getting and start by implementing one or two of the ideas. Know what you are going to say before you talk to your W, have a exit plan. You start being in charge of how things roll in your life. You can handle it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Forcing HER to make a decision isn't MANNING UP. No no no. Don't you see that she doesn't want you to wait for her??? Don't you see that she wants you to stand above her and lead her? As long as you are weak, the waiting, pining fool, she gets no strength from being your woman.
YOU must make a decision, every day, about what you will or will not accept. So far, you have woken up every single day accepting that you will be a doormat for a woman who isn't sure about you and who cheats on you. Don't lower yourself this way any longer.
You are cheating yourself by keeping the door open for her. Turn your back, close the door, look ahead to the possibilities of a happy life without her.
You don't have to file. You don't have to tell her anything. Just tap into your disgust, harness it so that you can see how waiting around devalues you, brush yourself off, chin up, and look ahead. Get out and GAL.
On some level you know what you need to do...that is why you are having the thoughts. She be able to get another man just as you will be able to get another woman...that means nothing. Quality vs quantity! You are quality and the father of her daughter and she knows it. Stats prove that these kind of realtionships do not last
You have to do something and it should be the shock and awe concept...she is riding the fence and this will continue as long as you let it. This is a script that has been written a thousand times. Quietly start paying all your bills off that you can, cancel any joint credit cards, try to get ahead on your house payment, then go file.
Please remember that you are either married or you are not. Which means your wife becomes a wife and mother again, or she doesnt. And a woman that would do these things to her husband and daughter should not be your friend.
Cordial in dealing with your daughter? Yes. A friend? No. It should be limited to generic talk about your daughter and what is best for her. Matter of fact stuff. And then when she wants to have friendly talk, you just leave the room or get off the phone.
YOU are the only sane parent your daughter has. Do not let her have much influence over your daughter, if you can have a say in that. And I believe you can, by getting full custody NOW! Dont wait until she returns. File now, have all your ducks in a row.
Don't keep dragging this out...with her leaving your daughter with you she has set a precedence that will be hard to explain.
The longer you allow this to continue the harder it will be later...try to get proof although you know she is in an affair. It is not over.
Good luck on Thursday...you deserve it! Praying for you and yours...you do the same.
