Puppy, from your own experience, you said this "I disagree. People in affairs are ADDICTED to the affair, and HOWEVER you get them to end it, and come back, you can THEN begin to work on the underlying problems of the marriage." -well thats the approach you took with your WAW.
Not all A's are addictions, they can be a necessary pschological life stage, learning experience or in some cases, actual love.
Ali, again, I disagree. That is not my opinion or my own personal experience -- it is a physiological FACT. Google "love addiction PEA endorphines" sometime. When in love or especially in early stages of infatuation, our brains become AWASH in endorphines and PEAs and these "love chemicals" even show up on CAT scans!
This doesn't excuse the behavior, or the initial decision to have an affair, which can be caused by any sort of initial reasons including an abusive spouse. But ONCE ENTERED INTO, you're dealing with a physiological addiction and all of its attraction, including a very real, physical withdrawal once it is ended.
The FWAWs and AWAWs on these very board also attest to this sad truth. Again, I'm not saying that the separation of the addict from the source of their addiction is a solution in and of itself. It is, however, a necessary first step, as the cheating spouse's affair partner may not be the real PROBLEM in the marriage, but they are CERTAINLY the most immediate OBSTACLE.
Puppy
it is the first change that HAS to be made in order for any other progress to be made.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
