I don't see this as SMW "guilting" her husband at all. It sounds to me like she gave him a nicely self-differeniated dose of reality. "This is the effect your behavior is having on your children." It's entirely too easy for WAS's, while lost in a fog, to completely disregard the consequences of their behavior on others for whom they are responsible. I know, mine has continually done the same. This has nothing to do with manipulating him to come back by using the children! It's simply hard, cold fact that his children are struggling, they were so looking forward to their father coming back because they need and love him--and when he returned, he chose to spend his leave with OW and HER children. Completely irresponsible. The fact that he understood that SMW "must really love him" is testimony that he understands her standing for her marriage and communicating that to DH, as well as seeing that she is setting some pretty darn clear boundaries.
I think it was brilliantly communicated, and undoubtedly involved some divine inspiration. Good for you, SMW! He's hearing you; his heart is being softened. Who knows if that will continue or if he will harden his heart against the truth again. But for now, stay the course!
It was ALL divine inspiration, HM!!
You are right, though, I did not say what I did to guilt him. It was a plea for him to think about how his irrational actions are hurting the kids. He needs to be more considerate of how his choices are affecting them. The kids are terrified he is going to disappear again. As a result of him leaving the way he did, S3 will no longer go to the nursery at church--he insists on coming upstairs with me to the sanctuary so that I "not leave him". Imagine a 3y/o so scared of being abandoned that he will sit still and behave through an hour an a half of church. This is what I am trying to convey to him. He has to think, not just act.
I know he is hearing me, the question is, is he actually listening, or is it just white noise to him? No matter. I will continue to live my life the way God is directing me. I will continue to be at peace with who I am in Christ and live my life accordingly.
Living God's blessing with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
