"And along the way, you may find W starting to pull on that rope a bit, and when she finds no resistance (you are not holding so tight on your end) she may pull harder."
This happens VERY RARELY so don't get your hopes up!!!
The WAW will find EVERY remote reason under the sun to blame the LBS for the 'sitch'. Even if you did 'drop the rope' and go 'dim' they will say: see "I made the right decision, he really doesn't care'. Instead of 'drop the rope' I'd say 'hope for best, prepare for the worst'. Assume the WAW is gone forever - find one sentence to describe why they walked away and then forget about them and work your way up from there.
Wile I agree with FB's last statement about WAS putting everything on the LBS, I disagree with the statment that returning rarely happens. It happens a fair amount of times with someone who really gets it and works on themselves.
I am not saying this to get your hopes up - you still need to work on being good, not just ok, as you are, no matter what the situation, as there is no guarantee that your spouse will return, and there is a chance that they will not. But to say the return is "very rare" in a sitch where the LBS truely has improved is not a fair statement. Read around this board and find sitchs where Ms have been restored, it happens!
I know it happens! I've read about it happening on this board!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
