I don't know about the piece of paper for the talk about intimacy... Kind of... business-y. Not very loving.
I can say that my H didn't "get it" until I really explained what was at stake and then I didn't let it drop.
Your first goal will be to get her on board. If she agrees with you and states that she wants intimacy in your marriage, and commits to working on it... You are in an excellent position. That is a blessing in itself.
Is she willing to read SSM, Passionate Marriage, or any other book? This, again, would be a blessing. I know she has to study for her new job, but hopefully once she is trained, she'll have some time to read.
Because you are the man in the relationship, I would think that it is up to you to initiate and do the work to break through all of her barriers.
My feeling is that she DOES want it, but she is afraid.
That is not to say that you should force her against her will, but you should definitely PUSH, be brave, and keep trying to initiate and take what you want. Don't monitor to see if she might be willing -- Just approach and initiate when YOU get the urge. Let her say no, let her brush you off, let her decide when she is willing to participate. Keep working, little by little, to push through her resistance, keep trying. Don't get so discouraged and rejected that you are afraid of being rejected again. You have to grow a callous to rejection.
