craig54 divorced but still love my wife

[craig54]

Honestly before the divorce became final, in my mind I wanted to punish her for finalizing it, I told myself I would shut her out of my life , treat her differently, and basically say screw her. It has not worked out that way, I see how much confusion she is still in and I cannot for the life of me treat her with disdain. It is a reminder everytime I talk to her that for some reason, I still hold out hope.I truly wish I did not, but it is the way I feel, at least right now.My first marriage ended , and because my first wife went so far off the deep end , it was easier to let go, and to be honest with you I never fully ever dealt with the first divorce. I just tucked it away in a corner , I can say I finally forgave my first wife for all the hurt and harm she caused my children and myself.But that took The Lord to remind me that I never dealt with that problem.I am just sad at the outcome, and even more sad that my ex is so lost.