Keel-hauled, but, more time with my kids

[faithisbelieving]

Funny post Jeff..and you are right...the rough draft of the appraisal is bitter sweet.

The sweet...my STBXW is going to get almost nothing. She will be due her fair equity in the home less the one year that I owned it prior to marriage. She will have to go to work...will most likely not get maintenance (alimony). Whereas many docs would have to forfeit the house to offset the value of the practice...she will NOT get the house..unless someone refinances it for her. In essence, I will not be shellaced and STBXW faces the same dire consequences of divorce as I do.

The bitter....the appraisal is a reflection of how bad a state my finances are in. Sadly, the appraiser was asking my atty "what kind of loser is this guy.....what kind of deadbeat lowlife is he?" Well..I am NONE of those.After my atty told him how opposite of that I was, he was actually making some suggestions to her for me, none of which are really applicable.

STBXW is going to be hurt...blown away...and may even request another appraisal (but at her expense). The downtrend in the market leaves her with little compared to 3 years ago looking at the equity in the house.

Divorce...sucks...FOR EVERYONE. Recall..she has worked part-time even throughout all of this. She has a responsibility here as well. This..is...divorce.

To Kerry....I would say over the next few weeks, the exact settlement will be figured out and then custody discussions will begin.

I am in a good place mentally tho'. I am reading a new book and discussing it with a friend in NYC. I am reading another pdf and receiving input as I review it with the 'guru' who wrote it. I think I am hitting another stride.

I am so sorry that this has befallen both me and my STBXW. I do not regret filing but we had nothing left after 17 months....no desire on her part to reconcile or get help. More importantly, no restraint about crossing boundaries while we lived under the same roof. Love, trust, respect, communication were completely destroyed. There was NO foundation for a healthy relationship...especially when 50% of the members didn't want it.

I need to find some other alternative. It's out there...somewhere. I'll find it someway and rebuild.

I must.

FIB