I appreciate help from everybody, especially those who are more knowledgable about these things than I am. Mutually beneficial situations are sometimes really good...aren't they? I hope you and yours are doing better.
This stuff is always worth repeating...thanks.
Ok, I'll read it. I get a lot of conflicting advice on this topic...what I've been doing isn't working. She's got a lot of anger, resentment, and hurt.
Actions do speak louder than words. Coach says this..."I can understand how me doing_______________would make you feel that way." What do you think about that? I do want to be better, and I'm working on it.
Not much pressuring going on here. I understand why she left, and I was caught completely off guard. I hope she gets past her anger, and whatever else...and at some point gets to "why not now"...before she files for a divorce.
I just want to detatch to the point that I don't think about her anymore. That's not giving up. I just want to start living again, and enjoy our kids when they're with me, and enjoy my life. I'm having fum with this co-ed softball.
Not many interactions are really necessary right now, even with our kids. Maybe going dim will provide me with space to detatch further...as CityGirl said.
I doubt I'll be uncaring. Might be a while, if ever, before she reaches out to me when she is open to my caring!
"I love my wife, I want a new and better relationship with her, but if she is not open to that, if what has happened is too much for her, then I have to let her go. I have to find my own happiness without her, I have to seperate my hurt from the pain she is inflicting on herself and me. I need to go on, for me, and my children. I have to be strong and be the man my wife thought I should be, even if it is not with her." I just wanted to write down those words for myself...I'm not there yet!
I want to be OK too! But I don't want to give up on the marriage.
What you say here makes sense, and I believe it...I'm just not there yet.
It is hard for me to allow myself to be OK. I have a lot of regrets, and guilt, and remorse for the non-compassionate behavior that I displayed toward the one that I cared about the most. I'm willing to take the punishment, I just need to continue to forgive myself, and learn from my mistakes...which were many.
OK. I'll try to release and detatch further. Thank you for your time and effort. Please continue, and good luck to you and yours.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
