Mindblank #3 - Dumb, Dumb, Dumb....

[mindfull]

I would be some of you receive these emails, as well... However, same sh*t, different day. Maybe it's true?!!?!??!

Today people are into quick fixes. But you can't
"microwave" a relationship. Relationships work
according to the law of the harvest.

You know how a harvest works, don't you? In the
spring time you have to plant. Then you have to
water, fertilize, and irrigate all summer long.
There's something else you have to do too...wait!
You have to be patient. And then, after you
complete every step of the process, you can
harvest the crop.

We're not used to revering a process. Most people
look for short-cuts. Today everything is about
efficiency. Efficiency works with machines,
business, and finances. But efficiency does NOT
work with relationships.

Renewing a marriage takes TIME. There are no
short-cuts! You have to respect the process and
be willing to take every step. (And you have to
know what the steps are.)

Can you imagine goofing-off all spring and summer
and then trying to harvest a crop in the fall?
It's impossible!

Relationships, like crops, are governed by the
natural laws of the universe. If you skip a step,
you'll short-circuit the process and slow
yourself down. But if you take your time and go
step-by-step...that' the fastest way.

The only way YOU can change your marriage is to
change yourself. You've got to become the man or
woman that anyone would want to be married to.
You have to learn what a man/woman wants in a
marriage AND how to implement relationship habits
so that you can offer it CONSISTENTLY.

Are you thinking, "It's not me
that needs to change; it's my spouse."

It's easy to confess your spouse's
sins. And you're probably correct about what
you're spouse needs to change. But it does no
good to be right. And it's a complete waste of
time and energy to focus on your spouse's
problems. There's nothing you can do about it.
The only relevant question is: What's YOUR
fixing?

You had a role in the deterioration of your
marriage. I have NEVER seen a marital situation
that is caused by one spouse. There's always dual
responsibility. What can YOU do to improve the
situation?

Reflect on your past relationships. Do you see a
pattern? Look at your parent's marriage. Are you
recreating the model you saw when you were a
child? Have you explored the childhood roots of
your relationship habits and how they contributed
to your marital circumstances?

Even if your spouse had an affair, you're partly
responsible. That doesn't mean that it's your
fault and it doesn't excuse your spouse's
inappropriate behavior, but the question still
remains: What was your spouse seeking outside
your marriage that was not available within it?