Retrouvaille saved me - AN #3

[AnotherNightmare]

Lots of things have happened since my last post, so it is probably going to be a longer post:

After the surgery, my W was kind of tired and went to bed early, usually right after the kids went to bed. So we had no time to talk, and I did not want her to feel pressured by me wanting to talk. I took over pretty much all the household chores, so she really had the time, the rest and the peace to recover from her surgery. Also, before the surgery every time I tried to talk to her, it created tension, so I let her come to me this time.

One other point I think I had not mentioned before, after our fight about the e-mail to OM, she had promised that she would not send another e-mail to OM and that we would send the e-mail to finally end this EA and any contact together before April 30. Well, everybody can guess what would happen.

On April 28, I asked her when we would write the e-mail. I noticed this reaction on her face and asked her immediately: "Have you sent him an e-mail already?" After some initial denying, she admitted that she had sent him an e-mail telling him to end contact. So I asked: "Has he replied?" Again some hesitation, then she admitted yes. "So", I said, "you have not been very clear about it. What else did you tell him? How the surgery went? About our fight?" She again hesitated, but eventually admitted that she told him all of that. Then I told her that I would send him an e-mail explaining to him in no uncertain terms that his contact to her had ended.

My language in this e-mail is nothing to be repeated here. Essentially, I told him his attempts to contact my W were not welcome, that I had read every single one of his "stinky" e-mails (which was not true, but who cares?) and that if I ever found out that he tried to contact her again, I would "drop a few bombs over at his place". What I meant by that (but did not tell him) was that when I snooped back in November to confirm the EA, I had found and printed an e-mail from OM where he essentially told my W that if she wanted to run with the kids, he would be there and help her. Sending this information to the German police or his employer would probably cause an investigation or a charge of custodial interference, being an accomplice to attempted child abduction and a few other things that might be very unpleasant for a L like him.

I am not really sure if I would ever do that, but I was hoping that he would finally get it. To make sure that his e-mails did not reach my W, I blacklisted him in both her e-mail accounts. The one she used for her correspondence with him does not even tell him that his e-mails never reached her. He replied to me pretty much instantly with a nasty insult. I almost cracked up and felt a lot better knowing that OM thought I was worthy a response.

I decided to apologize to my W for all the harsh words I had said to her with some flowers, but also made clear to her that any contact between her and someone she had an EA or PA with during our M was not acceptable to me. I did not know what to expect now, but when we went to bed, she gave clear signs that she wanted to be intimate and we made up by ML.

Nevertheless I did not think this was the end. My W had admitted that he had been sending e-mails pretty regularly (once every two weeks or so) since she told him in December to stop contacting her. And sure enough when we returned from our weekend trip (I finished my first marathon this weekend), I found an e-mail in my inbox that he had also sent to her (of course, it never reached her):

Dear W, hi AN,

If you both read my e-mails, it is only polite to address them to both of you.

First of all, I want to apologize to you, AN, for calling you an a...hole. I do not think anything positive about you, but that is not a reason to use this kind of language. Sorry for that. I wish for you that you realize what incredible luck you have to spend time with such a wonderful person like W. Maybe you will then be able to get rid of your sick violent imagination...

I wish you, dear W, from the bottom of my heart that you will be healthy again soon and that you will find YOUR way to a happy life. I will never again intrude your life without being asked, but you know that I will always be there for you as a friend when you need me. You know how to reach me.

I wish you, AN, a successful way to realization, and you, W, a happy life for yourself,
OM

Initally I thought WTF. But isn't that e-mail slick? Trying to seed wrath between my W and me again? Of course, he does not understand half of what I was talking about ("dropping the bomb") and again does not respect our wish to stop contacting us.

The good news is this might have been his last e-mail. I have asked myself for several days if sending him the e-mail was the right thing to do, but in the end I now think it was the only way to finally stop him. It goes without saying that I have not replied to any of his BS (even though the temptation was there). So anyway, I hope this was it. And I hope with the pain subsiding in my sore legs, the pain in my heart will slowly go away as well.

AN