The thing i will say.. my Mum and Dad have been together 40 years, but alot of their friends got D over the years. Yes, the men felt guilty, dreadfully guilty about the kids.. BUT.. not one of them ever stayed because of te children. I remember hearing my Mum talk about various guys who hung on ONLY for the kids, but got more unhappy and then left altogether. So in terms of your convo.. I also thought it a bit counterproductive to load on him so much about what this is doing to the kids. You dont want him to come back becuase of them, you want him to come back to YOU. And I doubt it would work anyway, using the kids, or their suffering, as a lever to make him come back.
I disagree. People in affairs are ADDICTED to the affair, and HOWEVER you get them to end it, and come back, you can THEN begin to work on the underlying problems of the marriage.
But first you have to separate the addict from the source of their addiction.
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I also dont thikn you should tell him he can move back, with conditions... this has got to be his decision and he probably wont react well to you telling him that.
You can't DB based on whether or not you think a cheating spouse will "react well." You need to operate from a basis of "What is the RIGHT THING to do? What would God Himself have me do if He were standing right here in front of me??" Jesus forgave the adultress, but He also told her to "Go and sin no more." He preached turning the other cheek, but He also summoned up righteous indignation and threw over the moneychangers' tables when they were defiling the temple.
