The thing i will say.. my Mum and Dad have been together 40 years, but alot of their friends got D over the years. Yes, the men felt guilty, dreadfully guilty about the kids.. BUT.. not one of them ever stayed because of te children. I remember hearing my Mum talk about various guys who hung on ONLY for the kids, but got more unhappy and then left altogether. So in terms of your convo.. I also thought it a bit counterproductive to load on him so much about what this is doing to the kids. You dont want him to come back becuase of them, you want him to come back to YOU. And I doubt it would work anyway, using the kids, or their suffering, as a lever to make him come back.
I think you would have more success if you looked at YOURSELF, as you have done I know. What exactly made him go outside of the M in the first place, we all get complacent and some men are weak and dont cope with stress very well.. what can you do to REALLY show him that your M would be better and brighter and not how it was before?
I dont think guilting him over kids/religious reasons is the way to go, personally.
I also dont thikn you should tell him he can move back, with conditions... this has got to be his decision and he probably wont react well to you telling him that. Sounds like SMW, like me, you need MORE patience !!! Wait and see.. you said your bit, now let him digest and process it. No pressure, just be his supportive, forgiving FRIEND.
