I'm so sorry! I think that LRT and going dark and GAL will benefit you the most and it seems would be the only possibility of having any impact on him. Most importantly, you need serious support and to start building a life for yourself. This board breaks my heart sometimes.
I will tell you that one of the most wonderful women I know had the same sitch 25 years ago. She absolutely cut off communication with her H (other than dealing with kids). He did try to come back at one point but she had moved on. Ultimately, she married another man who she is still in love with (22 yrs later), her kids are great and ex-H is miserably married to OW. The point is, take care of yourself, make a life for yourself and maybe he'll come back but who knows if you'll even want him at that point. Too bad I can't take my own advice (my H is waffling so it makes it hard).
Anyway, please stay present here, you'll get a lot of support and advice.
