JJ, My H had this pattern where about every 3 months he would freak out and say that he was miserable and that I was not pulling my weight...then by the next day, he would say everything was fine again. I learned to attribute these outbursts to moods, but have since learned that he wasnt fine, but was trying to convince himself that things were better....It was a horrible cycle of miscommunication. So while things seemed to resolve themselves through time - they never really got resolved. I am now consistantly doing the things that I know now are really important to him. In the past, I never understood how little things could matter so much, but now I know that I dont have to understand it to do it. I dont think he trusts the changes I've made or whether he even wants to. I have spent a long time apologizing for the mistakes I have made and dont feel like that made anything better, so I have tried to show him how commited I am to making him happy , now that I understand how truly unhappy he was. The problem is, I am rather controlling by nature and it is so hard for me to feel so out of control...I need to feel like I am making steps forward or else I slip into complete insanity and paranoia. Any advice you have would be much appreciated. Thanks!!!!
