I think that some of the "LR" stuff you're doing is good.
If you pressure him into making a "decision" about what he wants, you might push him into something that neither of you want. If he sees what you say to him as "deciding" what is the "right thing" for him to do, or as your controlling his decision, your efforts aren't going to take you very far.
Most of us here have wanted that "magical bolt of lightening" to tell us that it's "ok" again. However, we don't often get struck by it. Good relationships don't happen by chance, they are a product of effort.
From what you have written here so far, it sounds like your husband might want to take the steps, but just doesn't know where his feet should go. By being here and learning some stuff, this is where you can take the lead!!
When he says that he has "tried everything", there may still be other options available that neither of you have thought about so far!!
You say that he bottles up feelings until he blows up. What happens then between the two of you? How do you react when he blows up? What's it like when he does this, what do YOU do during these times?
How do you "make up" after these times? What helps to get the two of you back together?
I'm going to be hitting you up for some goals for your relationship here pretty quick, so you can see what direction you want to head!! So be prepared, and start thinking about them!!
JJ
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