JJ, Thanks so much for your responses! As far as what I have been doing, I've been backing off, not chasing, not pushing, and trying not to complain. I stopped saying I love you all the time and Ive stopped being so controling. It seems like I have taken pressure off him by not always asking him to "Decide what he wants" like I had been doing. My H is a great guy who wants to do the right thing for everyone, but doesnt know what that is right now. Our relationship has always consisted of alot of bickering, but nothing serious. My H bottles his feelings until they blow up, something he is workling on. He IS going to C and he IS still at home, but I feel like he wants a magical bolt of lightning to tell him if we can be OK again. He spent a lot of years feeling like I took him for granted and diminished his feelings, which is probably true....But I have made huge strides in becoming a better person/partner and just want to see some hope from him. He says that he is done trying becuase he already tried everything and is tired....but honestly, while he may have been trying, I didnt know things were bad for him - once I understood that, my behavior changed drasticly, but it seems like too little too late. It does seem that LR has been helpful in reducing stress around our house....I think he apppreciates the space, but I just dont know how to bring spark back while being so laidback and almost aloof about our relationship? Granted, Im sure this behavior is much more attractive than the pleading, sobbing threatening I was doing when I first found out that he was considering leaving but..... I dunno, I just dont know how to step it up.
