Quotes found on Divorcebusting (II)

[Travis]

To anyone with an opinion,
I'm sure I'm just an average joe going through what many are going through on this site, but I feel as if it's only me. On March 11, I got a phone bill in the mail that was higher than normal. I get to investigating and under my wife's number there were significant text charges to one number. She doesn't have a text plan on her phone. So I start investigating. I look at the calls, and there are numerous calls to this number. Hour upon hour. I call the number, praying like hell it's a woman. Lo and behold a guy answers. I thought I was going to puke. I ask my parents to watch my kids that night so that me and my wife can talk. I ask my wife about the number when she gets home. She says it's her friend, which is a woman. I explain to her I called the number and a male answered. She say, "Oh yeah, that's just my friend ##### and we just talk about our kids all the time." I explain to her that no one talks about their kids for 1-3 hours every night. She decides to blow up and tell me about all the things i've done wrong for the last 11 years and says she no longer loves me. But denies she's seeing someone, he's just a friend. To make a long story short, since then she has told me she wants a divorce and no longer loves me. She went so far as to tell me she needed to be able to talk to someone the night after we told our children we were divorcing. I told her to go to her dad's if that's where she needed to go. She called me that night and informed me she and my two boys wouldn't be coming home again. This was the night before Easter. She filed a restraining order against me (which was dropped before ever going to trial). My attorney explained that this is a common strategy. There was no basis. I've never, in 11 years, harmed or threatened to harm my wife. Meanwhile, for two weeks I wasn't allowed to talk to my boys or wife. I begged and pleaded with her to at least try every option (counseling or whatever) before we considered divorce. If there was someone else, we should at least try all solutions before considering divorce. I even told her I would try to forgive if there was someone else. She told me to get it through my head, she didn't want to work it out. Well, she's moved out and is nowing taking my boys to her boyfriend's house nearly every night. The strange thing is, I haven't been the best husband/father over the years. Not bad, but not the best. No cheating, no abuse, I just always worked long hours and was gone a lot. Late last summer I sat her down and asked her if I was gonna lose my family if things didn't change. She said she didn't think she could do it much longer if things didn't change. My boys were growing up and I was missing it. I asked her to give me a few months and I would make changes to save our family. In January I accepted a new job that would allow me to be home and offer us a far better life financially. Then she leaves me in March of this year. She stayed with me through all of the hard times and then left when I believed things were just getting better. The sad part is all of our close friends are as bewildered as I am. They, and I, thought we had the best marriage out of everyone we knew. To make a little more sense, my wife was a stay at home mom for three years. She went back to work in late November. Then in March this all happens. The guy she is with works with her. I guess a lot of this probably has to do with the fact she has a new group of friends at this new job. I don't know. I really believe my marriage is done, but I can't stand the fact of losing my boys. She's already told the school she's moving my sons to a different school next year. The school she's going to is in the town where her boyfriend lives. I know this is a little long, but this is a short version of what's happened in the last 2 months. My wife was the most loving, giving person I've ever known in my life. Now, I don't even know the woman. I don't think we can get past the things she's done over the last couple months, but I'm scared to death what effect this will have on my 4 and 7 year old sons. Any advice would be appreciated.