I found the best way to deal with this attitude in others was to point out that as long as my children are minors they come first, and I was willing to do what was necessary so they could have their dad in their life every day. Rather then focusing on the word "marriage," I focused on the word and idea of "family." The idea for me was to keep my family together. As far as the marriage, well, that would be something that would need to be worked on, take time and would be reassessed later. I explained that it may not be salvageable, but for my kids sake, and also for my own personal growth, it was something I wanted to remain open to and explore. Also, I didn't feel it was a decision that should be made quickly, or in anger, or with outside influences. I hope that makes sense.
I agree completely as I have told people that I didn't rush and decide to get married so I'll take my time deciding if/when I'll dissolve this union. I am thankful that my W is not ready to divorce either. I think this gives me even more time to grown and get stronger and detach even more. I think she is still confused and a lost soul, so I pray for her many times a day. I agree about the keeping a family together and showing my kids that I have given my all to save our family. Also, believe in giving someone (such as my W) a second chance after they make a mistake and I hope W will give me a chance to be a better husband or at least one with a stronger backbone.
