PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[PositivelyMommy]

Thanks JCJ, you reminded me of some very good points that I will keep close to my chest when I walk into the Counsellor's office. I will shut up and LISTEN. Don't get drawn into an argument of what happened. His thinking and timeline is bound to be skewed as he is justifying his A.

Thanks also for telling me what DB coach said, I know my H feels extremely guilty and shameful but I didn't know that was why he can't talk to me about personal stuff, it makes a whole lot of sense though. I just thought he hated me and want to be as far away as possible.

Coincidence! My H went through a life-threatening illness as well!!!!! I found out about a ONS right before he went into hospital but was SO relieved when he recovered. He couldn't handle it, the illness, the ONS (possibly EA and PA), me being the caregiver, me being the hurt spouse etc. etc. He went into a deeper depression. He has been slightly depressed for a few years, I think. Hindsight is 20/20.

It was overload and he went for the first thing that made him feel good, OW!! But I think H is slowly slowly slowly realizing that the endorphins are wearing off his R with OW as well because lately he is looking depressed again. I am kind of glad because I was hoping he would realize that escaping into another R won't solve his own internal problems and it certainly didn't solve his R problems with kids or obviously, his R problems with me or his R problems with his dad etc. It just created another messy R to deal with!!!

My plan for the IC session is:
To listen
To tell H what I DO like about him
To show that I am serious about moving away
To show my happy, confident self (I will not be 'victim')
To sort out finances and such

What do you think?