Not everyone likes carrot cake so that's okay. But those who do might enjoy it a lot. I know the people I gave it to thought it was the best they ever had and thought I was some baking goddess!!! LOL!
You sound like you are doing good and handled the recent interaction with your wife well. I love the image of your father with the pitchfork removing W. That's too funny!!! I know my father felt (and will probably always feel!) the same way. I found the best way to deal with this attitude in others was to point out that as long as my children are minors they come first, and I was willing to do what was necessary so they could have their dad in their life every day. Rather then focusing on the word "marriage," I focused on the word and idea of "family." The idea for me was to keep my family together. As far as the marriage, well, that would be something that would need to be worked on, take time and would be reassessed later. I explained that it may not be salvageable, but for my kids sake, and also for my own personal growth, it was something I wanted to remain open to and explore. Also, I didn't feel it was a decision that should be made quickly, or in anger, or with outside influences. I hope that makes sense.
In other words, I'd try to present them with the logical reason for why I wanted to make the family unit work. At the very least it's a great learning and growing experience. Can a person learn to forgive something horribly painful? Can they grow, accept weakness in someone they have loved, and be stronger? There's a lot of levels in something like this. And it's not easy. Sometimes there's some really deep wounds that never seem to heal. Also, I felt that by trying to keep the family together I was teaching my children that family really did come first and trying to make it work is the most important thing. Especially because keeping a family together is REALLY hard. Yes, sometimes it cannot be worked out, and sometimes divorce it inevitable, but I didn't want my children to see me as someone giving up on family, or at least not doing everything under the sun to try and make it work out.... and if it can't work out, at least leave as a stronger and much wiser person. Also, I considered separation and divorce as a time to heal and work out baggage. I wanted to be emotionally stronger, and better prepared for whatever the future would be.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
