Puppy, you were really the person I needed to hear this from.
I am just going with the flow. I am not offering him anything with the kids--he will have to ask for it, and I will not always say yes. He is planning to go to D9's counseling appointment this week. I need to warn her counselor ahead of time so she is prepared for it.
I am not waffling and God is with me.
Thank you for letting me know I am doing okay.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
He seriously is so confused by me that he does not know what to do right now. My sister noticed it last night, at D6's birthday party, and she has no idea about last weeks conversation.
Hi SMW (by the way, love the change to your screen name - a nice way to validate yourself there!)
Thanks Rob!~ Greek kind of gave it to me, but when I thought about what she said, I realized she was 100% right!
Quote:
When the WAS first heads out the door, it's pretty typical that they think they have all the answers - or, at least, a lot more answers than the LBS they are leaving behind. Unfortunately, many of those answers are founded on pure MLC BALONEY.
I have often wondered if DH is MLC. Just means I have to wait longer for him to pull his head out of his behind.
Quote:
When the LBS puts themselves on the right path, DB's and GAL's and learns to be happy without their pathetic mess of a spouse - well, they can end up being the one who really knows what's what. You're absolutely right - that confuses the heck out of them! This is the point where you get to just put on your wise, I-know-something-you-don't-know, Yoda-like smile, and keep doing what you are doing. Good for you!
I finally feel like i have it all together, and I am pretty sure I know where the bag is, too. He is due back soon so I need to get off of here. But thank you for taking the time--I do not see you very often but it is good to know you are lurking.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Pray for wisdom and DISCERNMENT -- every day, several times a day. God has promised to give these to those that ask, and believe.
Pray that you will see and hear exactly what you NEED to see and here (and no more) in order to make wise decisions for you and your children.
Puppy
Puppy--
That is what I have been praying all along, along with select other things like conviction and repentance for him and strength to stand in the face of what appears to be hopeless to all but me and God. I know where my strength comes from and ultimately, it is only God's leading that matters. I will weigh all else against what He tells me to do. If they do not gel, I will discard accordingly.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I took a deep breath to keep from crying, and said, “DH, I am willing to make every effort to work things out between us. I believe, in my heart that with hard work and help from God, we can make this marriage work and be even better than it was before. But, I am realistic enough to know that I can not control what you do and say, I can only control me. But know this, I will fight you tooth and nail to protect my kids from living with the pain and hurt and sense of abandonment I have lived with for the past 25 years. He said, I know you will. I said know this, too. As much as I want us to work things out, I will not live in a marriage with three people. The kids and I will get along without you and I am prepared to cut you out of our lives to protect them from being hurt any more than they already have been. There will always be a place in our lives for you, but we have to get on with our lives for now.
WAY TO GO SMW!!!!!! DH heard you loud and clear just let him squirm with his actions now. Stay patient. I nominate SMW for DBer of the year! You handled it! Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
If I had pom poms I'd be jumping up and down with them! You did awesome. You know why you were calm and collected - God was there beside you, on your side, fighting alongside you to be able to speak to your DH in a manner that he would trully HEAR, not just REACT to your emotions like in the past.
WONDERFUL!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
SMW, I find it hard NOT to post and tell you how inspiring you are. God is really working through you and it is simply amazing to see your faith in action. That is what you call unwavering......like Abraham and Sarah. You are an inspiration to me personally!!
WOW! What I wouldn't give to be able to do what you did. I too worry about the impact on my kids, but every time I've brought it up, H just gets mad and says I'm blowing it out of proportion - they'll be fine. You said it perfectly!! You go girl! Thanks for being such an inspiration. I too will pray for you and your family Psalm 51.
Me 39 H 38 T22/M15 S11 S7 EA Confirmed 3/11/09 Sep Weekdays Only 4/09
That is what I have been praying all along, along with select other things like conviction and repentance for him and strength to stand in the face of what appears to be hopeless to all but me and God. I know where my strength comes from and ultimately, it is only God's leading that matters. I will weigh all else against what He tells me to do. If they do not gel, I will discard accordingly.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
Wow SWM!! I continue to be amazed at the amount of faith and strenth you exude. Like other have said, you have true, unwavering faith and you will be blessed for it. Very impressive :-)!
Like Puppy suggested, I also continue to pray for wisdom, guidance, and discernment and am learning the lesson of patience! God is revealing his answers & plan to be piece by piece in His timing and it has been a challenge to waiting patiently! Like you, I am also praying for conviction & repentance for my H.
You certainly gave your DH lots to think about and I will continue to pray for him, as well as for your rest of your family. It's is great to see God at work through you! :-)
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I took a deep breath to keep from crying, and said, “DH, I am willing to make every effort to work things out between us. I believe, in my heart that with hard work and help from God, we can make this marriage work and be even better than it was before. But, I am realistic enough to know that I can not control what you do and say, I can only control me. But know this, I will fight you tooth and nail to protect my kids from living with the pain and hurt and sense of abandonment I have lived with for the past 25 years. He said, I know you will. I said know this, too. As much as I want us to work things out, I will not live in a marriage with three people. The kids and I will get along without you and I am prepared to cut you out of our lives to protect them from being hurt any more than they already have been. There will always be a place in our lives for you, but we have to get on with our lives for now.
WAY TO GO SMW!!!!!! DH heard you loud and clear just let him squirm with his actions now. Stay patient. I nominate SMW for DBer of the year! You handled it! Cheers Coach
I figured Greek already gave you all the gory details. I am leaving him alone. He did not leave until almost 10 tonight. We had some bad storms and waited to give the kids a bath. He was quiet. He took D( to get her swimsuit and told her that he was going to her counseling appt on Thursday. I definitely need to call her counselor in the morning to let her know. That should be interesting, as her counselor thinks he should come home and will probably tell him that!!
When we talked last week, he said he would see the kids EITHER Monday or Tuesday, but when he left, he said he would see me tomorrow. HHHHMMMM wonder if I am going to have to remind him he does not live here or if I should let him come over. My heart and my mind are telling me to let him be here, to just keep being the new me and let him keep watching up close and personal. Any suggestions?
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
